Frustrated Husband

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"
The wife stared at him and asked, "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

Read more »

First Night Of Honeymoon - Funny

First Night Of Honeymoon

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon.

They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, 'What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.

'I had tolio as a child,' he answered.

'You mean polio?' she asked.

'No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.'

When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked 'What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!'

'As a child, I also had kneasles,' he explained.

'You mean measles?' she asked.'No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.'

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.

As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.

'Don't tell me,' she said.

'Let me guess.......

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Smallcox?

Read more »

Man vs Woman - Funny

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
No sense two people remembering the same thing

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.      

Read more »

A Successful Marriage...

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25 th marriage anniversary.

They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.

Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'.

Editor: ' Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? '

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:
' We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.

Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.

My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.

Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'.

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.

This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?' ..

She gave a silent look and said: ' This is your first time!!!'.'

Husband: 'That's it. We are happy ever after. '

Read more »

Women are Too Complicated....- Funny

Read more »

Couple's Funny Messages

Dear wife,

You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you
are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I
sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you
receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching
assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed
letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,

You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this
letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy.
Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more
times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore don't wait up.
Your Wife

Read more »